FOR generations, we've been told that the pinnacle of success is owning a detached home with a garden – a self-contained space for the self-sufficient nuclear family.
We see it on TV, we read about it in newspapers, and we hear it in political speeches.
But what if this ideal is not only outdated but actively harming us? What if the relentless pursuit of this singular vision is at the root of some inter-connected urgent problems, namely: chronic loneliness, the housing crisis, crippling pressure on health and care services, and increasing age segregation?
Through visiting 54 intergenerational communal housing models across the US and Australia - with residents ranging from eight to 300 people - I’ve seen people not just dreaming of a more connected and sustainable way of living, but making it a reality.
The communities I visited - from urban cohousing apartment blocks in Melbourne to intentional co-operatives in California - are showing how housing can function not just as a physical infrastructure, but as critical social infrastructure that keeps us healthier, happier and connected to a network of people and resources.
The single-family home, so central to our cultural narrative, can be an isolating and resource-intensive concept.
We have cities full of individual washing machines, lawnmowers, cars, spare rooms and toolboxes that often sit unused.
This model is economically and environmentally unsustainable. It also perpetuates a culture of disconnection. It tells us that our lives should be contained within our own four walls, with little need for our neighbours.
But in the communities I visited, where people of all ages live together, with a mix of private and shared spaces, ‘neighbourisms’ are commonplace.
I use this word to refer to informal, frequent practices of care and interest - like a teenager fixing an older neighbour’s phone, sharing a school run, or a lift to a GP appointment.
These aren't just sweet gestures; they are the building blocks of resilient, healthy communities. They are a critical part of preventative healthcare, allowing us to rely on each other more for the small things, and formal services when we really need to.
‘Neighbourisms’ flourish when homes and neighbourhoods are intentionally designed for connection, fostering a culture of mutual support and trust.
Living together beyond nuclear family structures is not a novel idea. It continues in indigenous communities across the world, who have long-standing traditions of multi-generational living with a deep cultural emphasis on shared resources and care for elders.
It also gained energy during the countercultural movements of the 1960s and 70s in both the US and Australia, with experimentations around shared living and permaculture.
Despite this history, political and media narratives continue to push for the idea that the one and only valid aspiration is separate homeownership.
I have seen how communal living can create profound benefits. For parents, an informal ‘village-like’ support system; for older adults, skillsharing, belonging and an informal support network that can prevent unnecessary health escalations and isolation; for children, an opportunity to grow up surrounded by a diverse web of caring adults.
Communal living may not be for everyone. But our current housing models are failing, and it’s time to challenge the narratives that have normalised designing for isolation, age segregation, and a profit-before-people development model.
Detached homeownership is not the only valid aspiration.
While policy changes are essential - such as updating regulations to support models like housing co-operatives and community land trusts and incentivising the retrofitting of existing spaces to include shared social areas - the most powerful change is cultural.
The urgent crises we face call on us to challenge embedded narratives about how we house; instead, reimagining homes as foundations for connection, resilience and wellbeing across generations.
Savannah Fishel is a ‘service designer’, researcher and writer, whose research into community-based housing in the USA and Australia was funded by The Churchill Fellowship.
Access ‘Beyond the white fence: A companion for intergenerational communal living’ and stay up to date with her work at www.thinkitforward.net
Image details: An eco-village in Los Angeles, USA; copyright Savannah Fishel
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Next Saturday: A question of 'good taste'?